Well, maybe no one said it couldn’t be done. They probably said it shouldn’t be done. But here it is. The mad lads at Kirin have gone and done it. Just a week ago I was saying that maybe the price of produce would get so high they will begin to add alcohol to veggies to make us forget about the sticker shock. Not five days later, what do I see on the shelves? This abomination. Cats and dogs living together type shenanigans. As our favorite climate lunatic, Greta would say, “How dare you!”
Who was asking for this? Get some vodka and V8 and make your own veggiebooze at home. I guess the folks at Kirin heard about and wanted to capture that lucrative vegan alcoholic demographic. I’m sure the suspense is killing you. The suspension almost killed me. How does it taste? Well, how do you think a mixture of kale, grapes, kiwi, apple, and Japanese mustard spinach in a 4% ABV solution tastes?
Like garbage. At times it is bitter, and then it is a bit sour. It’s pulpy, and the smell upon unscrewing the top, always a sign of a quality alcoholic drink, put me off right away. Decaying vegetable matter is how I would best describe it. Maybe if you doubled the booze, this atrocity of an alcohol delivery device would be palatable.
Just look at the color! That last time I saw something this shade of greenish-brown frogs and turtles were swimming around in it. I don’t normally call for people to be fired from their jobs. I detest cancel culture, but the person who decided this was a great idea needs to be demoted at least. Back to the mailroom or whatever the Japanese corporate equivalent is. I haven’t come up with a rating system for this little feature, but if I had one, this would be in the negative. Just awful. This should only be drunk on a dare or as part of a fraternity initiation. Avoid.
Rolling Tsuchinoko 